Today I had to say goodbye to my dearest people in this world, my kids, who are relocating to Byron, Australia. I woke up with a heavy pain in my heart, knowing that today was the day that I would have to see them going. I hate separations and good byes. I hate it because I can't hold back my tears, and I don't like crying in public. I prefer sobbing alone at home, where nobody sees what a softie I am.
As soon as I woke up, I tried to keep my mind occupied with the things I had to do during the day. Otherwise my eyes were already teary. The thought that I won't be able to see and play my precious granddaughter daily, was too much. She was not even gone, I was missing her already.
When I think that I won't hear her running and giggling towards my run, calling me “Fafa”, I feel I’m dying slowly. I will dry up like a plant that has to learn to live without water.
But what am I supposed to do? Be selfish and try to make them change their minds? No I way! I won't confess any of these thoughts to them. I want them to live their lives the way the want it. Wherever it may be. If it happens to be half away across the globe, so be it! They deserve their chance to happiness and independence.
As a parent, I always encouraged my kids to follow their hearts. I taught them how to take decisions and recognize opportunities. I gave them wings. Now, it felt like it all blew in my face. They leave me here all alone. But that is something that I always knew it would happen at a certain moment.
I am truly proud of their courage to go start a new life in Byron, even if my son’s new venture takes him away from me. It takes all his family away. But that is not something that I wanted to burden them with. I kept it to myself. Seeing them all excited about this new adventure, reminded me of my beloved wife. Oh, sure she would have been urging them to follow their dreams and never look back. I guess her spirit inspired me and made me be strong, not showing how much I’d suffer once they’ll be gone.
Yes, we will talk on Skype weekly, but it won't be the same. They will give me updates on their lives and I would be waiting for it as a dog missing its master. The internet would definitely make it easier; it won't be like in the ‘90s. At least the technology will help me cope with the pain. Luckily, there’s no marketing internet on Skype, like on YouTube!